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Quotes

Page history last edited by Steve Peterson 2 years ago

It's just like Dr. Peterson used to always say:

 

                    "He who speaks in maxims...you know?"

 

 

 

“we can be blind to the obvious, and we are also blind to our blindness”

-Daniel Khaneman

 

 

People are 58.7% more likely to take you seriously if you make your point while citing a made up statistic.

 

There are some rules of grammar up with which we should not put.

 

Reductionist? Me??? Name ONE reductionist word I ever said! 

 

Actually, the moon is made of moon.

 

Questions you cannot answer are usually far better for you than answers you cannot question.

Yuval Noah Harari

 

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
John Wheeler

 

Finding the perfect analogy is as hard as...as hard as...

 

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Woody Allen

 

If I were meta-agnostic, I'd be confused over whether I'm agnostic or not
-- but I'm not quite sure I feel that way; hence I must be meta-meta-agnostic (I guess).
Douglas R. Hofstadter, Gödel, Escher, Bach

 

 

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people are so full of doubts.
Bertrand Russel

 

 

I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.
Dudley Moore, "Arthur"

 

Some people get confused when a sentence doesn't end as they potato.

 

I wish I had a dime for every time I had to listen to someone's hypothetical way of getting rich

Steve Peterson

 

What would it be like if no one asked a hypothetical question?

 

I bought the world's worst thesaurus. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible.

 

Dyslexics of the world, untie!

 

 

Don't you feel a little more like you do now than you did before you came in?

 

 

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
Grossman's Misquote

 

 

A specialist is someone who learns more and more about less and less
until he knows everything about nothing.

 

 

You are more talented in the art of deception than you led me to believe.
Seska, "Star Trek: Voyager"

 

 

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
Griffin's Thought

 

 

If at first you succeed, try not to look astonished.

 

 

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

 

 

It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel

 

 

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts:
for support rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang

 

 

No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Bonzai

 

 

After all is said and done, much is said and little is done.
Olmstead

 

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Olivier

 

 

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

 

 

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Groucho Marx

 

 

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

 

 

73.2% of statistics are just made up numbers.

 

 

6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy

 

 

Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.
Irene Peter

 

 

No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats,
approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.
Lazlo

 

 

Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen?

 

 

Sometimes you can observe a lot by watching.
Yogi Berra

 

 

No wonder nobody comes here -- it's too crowded.
Yogi Berra

 

 

The real world is a special case.
Horngren's Observation

 

 

If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
Isaac Newton

 

 

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
Hal Abelson

 

 

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Wernher von Braun

 

 

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Stewart's Law of Retroaction

 

 

It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
Phil White

 

 

There are two rules for success...
1) Never tell everything you know.
Roger H. Lincoln

 

 

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
Merkin's Maxim

 

 

If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
Woodrow Wilson

 

 

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Albert Einstein

 

 

Not everything that counts can be counted
and not everything that can be counted counts.
Albert Einstein

 

 

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.
Albert Einstein

 

 

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Calvin

 

 

Quidquid latine dictum sit altum viditur.
(Translation: Everything said in Latin sounds profound.)

 

 

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Mike Arnold

 

 

When you are working on a math problem, you are really working on yourself.

Steve Peterson

 

 

There are Republicans and there are Democrats and then there are people whose opinions sometimes change with new information.

 

 

Best definition of a bureaucrat: someone who believes that any rule no matter how arbitrary when applied universally amounts to justice.

 

 

 

Best definition of science: the endeavor to be honest with ourselves about what we know and what we don’t know.

 

 

 

The difference between theory and practice is that in theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.

 

 

 

Best definition of economics: The science of explaining why the predictions about the economy you made yesterday didn’t come true while making new predictions that are probably no better.

 

 


The pen is mightier than the sword, but the pencil is mightier than the pen.

 

 

If trees could scream would they still cut them down? What if they screamed all the time for no good reason? -SNL

 

 

 

Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it. -Twain

 

 

 

If you want to change the world, first make yourself perfect, and then just do what comes naturally. If you try to change the world before perfecting yourself, you may only ruin it.

 

   

 

 

You can’t go on 70% of a picnic.

 

 

 

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

 

 

 

Never be superstitious. It’s bad luck.

 

 

 

 

If atheism is a form of religious faith, then not collecting stamps is a hobby and bald is a hair color.

 

 

 

 

I always lie to my children and tell them that when people die they decompose and get eaten by worms. The truth--that most of us burn in hell for all eternity--is just too upsetting for children.

 

 

 

 

Worry less about finding the right person and more about being the right person.

 

 

 

Would you be jealous if you found out that the person you hate most in this world hates someone else more than they hate you?

 (Unrequited love is hard to endure, but what about unrequited hate? I bet a really good way of getting revenge on someone who hates you would be to love them with all your heart and then sit back and enjoy their suffering.)

 

 

 

   

Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans. -Lennon

 

 

 

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the entire world. -SNL

 

 

 

No one can stop the waves, but some people learn to surf.

 

 

 

If someone tells you they are a bad liar, do not trust them. They have already lied to you at least once.

 

 

 

I suppose it is only natural that selfish people tend to accuse other people of being selfish.

 

 

 

 

If like school you’ll love work.

 

 

 

You know why I don’t bother making my bed after I get up in the morning? For the same reason I don’t tie my shoelaces after taking off my shoes.

 

 

 

If you set out to do what you love you may love what you do, but more likely you’ll just be poor.

 

 

 

 

Someone who gets paid to do what they love is a probably a masochist.

 

 

 

 

Wealth is the difference between nothing and what you have. If unwealth is the difference between the things you have and the things you want, then the wealthiest people are often also the unwealthiest.

 

 

 

 

I’d rather be rich than stupid.-SNL

 

 

 

Intelligence is having a fast processor, a lot of RAM, and a big hard drive. Wisdom is running good software.

 

 

 

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience comes from bad judgment.

 

 

 

 

What's the meaning of life? When it is said that something means something, just what the heck is that supposed to even mean?

 

 

 

No metaphor runs on all four legs.

 

 

 

Those who fail to learn their history can still eke out a 3.0 if they ace their other classes.

 

 

 

Time flies like the wind, but fruit flies like bananas.

Groucho Marx

 

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.



OK, so what's the speed of dark?

 

 

 

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world

 

All the emphasis on material goods around the holidays tends makes me realize that I would gladly give up everything I own for just a little bit more.

 

 

 

 

 

Give a man fire and he’ll be warm for one day. Set him on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

 

 

 

 

 

My only regret in life is that I am not someone else

 

Woody Allen

 

 

 

Freedom isn’t free, but the price keeps going up, and the quality is deteriorating.

 

 

 

 

Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

 

 

 

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

 

 

 

 

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

 

 

 

 

“I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."”

 

 

 

 

All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can't buy happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.

 

 

 

 

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

 

 

 

Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.

 

 

 

I demand either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.

 

 

 

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.

 

 

I once cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no legs. So I took his shoes. He wasn't going to need them anyway.

 

Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

 

 

 

I heard that when Beethoven died he decomposed.

 

 

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